Can I share a secret with you? Underneath my Diane Von Furstenberg jacket, my Sutart Weitzman wedges and my Michael Kors handbag…underneath my smile, the sparkle in my eyes and the carefully articulated words, underneath my degrees, achievements, and accolades…I’m a disaster! I’m falling apart at the seams and no one knows it – I’m sercretly faking it – ALL OF IT – and if I don’t find a lifeline now, I don’t know what I’m going to do!
Can you relate?
For nearly 20 years now, I’ve researched, trained, coached and taught women who come to me with this similar story and it was once mine as well.
Change the clothes, the shapes, and the styles but underneath it all – faking it has become the norm not the exception and it’s costing women a hefty price tag. The science of success proves that with simple rituals, life can be fulfilling, passionate and rewarding, without the overwhelm, drama and shame. So how do we get to making it without the faking it?
A ritual is a series of actions or a type of behaviour that is regularly implemented. Highly successful women and men alike practice specific rituals to continuously take aligned actions. Without daily rituals you are merely drifting from task to task and often becoming distracted, diverted and disconnected from your bigger vision.
Here are eight best rituals to go from faking it to making it without the overwhelm, drama or shame.
1. The Breathing Ritual
This ritual is often overlooked but it’s so impactful. The breathing ritual is where you create a simple automatic ritual by setting an alarm on either your phone, computer or clock so that when you hear it you take 5 minutes to simply breathe. Most women hold their breath and contract their abdomen during the day, preventing them from receiving oxygen into their body and keeping the physiological effects of breathing working in their favor, (some include clear mind, focus, increased energy levels). Here’s the catch. Make sure to breathe all the way down to your vagina or testicles. The reason is that there are 2 major energy centers between the genitals and the anus. When you breath all the way down, you engage those energy centers and can reset your thinking, emotions, hormones and so much more in only 5 minutes. This means, if you’re currently struggling with overwhelm, anxiety or you’ve simply got a lot of drama in your life – this simple breathing ritual if done 2 – 3 times a day will do wonders for your life.
2. The Recognition Ritual
Frustrated? Raging? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Worried? Doubting? Helpless? Jealous?… STOP.
Your thoughts and feeling are speaking to you – they tell you what’s really going on underneath your rational mind. The Psychology of Success shows that when you recognize what’s under the emotion your perspective changes. Creating a simple ritual to help you recognize what’s under the emotion will allow you to immediately get out of the drama. When you get out of the drama there’s space for proactive action. The recognition ritual is simply taking 2 – 3 minutes when you are feeling a lot of emotion to recognize what is really going on. Then once you’ve recognized it, you’ll be able to move forward without staying stuck in the emotion.
3. The Re-frame Ritual
Stuck in the negative narrative of “I can’t because… ”, “It’s never enough…”, “It’ll never work…”, “I don’t know how…”
Create a simple re-frame ritual where you begin to recognize the negative thinking and transform it into a positive. The easiest way to do this is by simply asking the question, “What do I need to do, say, or believe to create what I really want?”. By focusing on a solution instead of what is, you can instantly re-frame the situation and move into being efficient and effective.
4. The Focus Ritual
Distractions, Diversions and Disconnections – they’ll pop up tirelessly until you learn triggers and how to focus. There are many different triggers to potentially derail focus as well as solutions to help you focus. This is more about identifying your triggers and establishing a focus ritual that works for you and that you can use it 3-5 times a day. An example of a trigger – I have the urge to surf Facebook instead of completing a task, which will result in 45 min of time lost. The focus ritual – movement for 5 minutes then implement the breathing ritual for 3 minutes. It’s an 8 minute ritual that will change your life.
5. The Intuition Ritual
Currently Emotional Intelligence (EI) is emerging as one of our most sought after training, with corporations spending large sums helping their top teams learn the ropes of EI. Intuition and EI go and by training your mind how to engage on subtle levels you open doors for incredible opportunities. An intuition ritual can start simply, (I’ve developed a full mental construct to help people fully engage their intuition and EI which entrepreneurs and corporations use to skyrocket their success), by setting an intention each morning and then at a certain specific time that you identify in the day closing one’s eyes and engaging all 5 senses while thinking about that one intention.
6. The Connection Ritual
In a world where connection is meant to be at its peak, human connection is at its all time low, with most people hiding behind texts, social media, and email. When you are feeling isolated, alone and withdrawn from the world around you, pause for a moment. Place your hand on your heart, breath in (yes all the way down to your genitals), and ask yourself, “What do I need right now to feel connected, vibrant, and energized?” then allow an answer to formulate in your mind. One of the reasons so many people get stuck in the faking it mode, is because there is such a lack of connection these days. By simply learning how to first connect with your own needs you’ll be able to also reach out to others, yet it starts with creating a connection with yourself.
7. The Clear the Chaos Ritual
Your environment matters. Whether you’re in your car, home, office, bathroom, bedroom or anywhere that you spend a lot of time clutter creates chaos and it overstimulates the mind creating more overwhelm, drama and shame. The clear the chaos ritual takes no longer than 10 minutes per day. You can either start your day with it or end your day with it. Set a timer and for 10 minutes clear the chaos in your environment. Anything that will require more time to attend to, designate a box that you’ll set time for once a week instead of in that moment. Clear the areas that you spend the most time in each day and you’ll notice a significant difference in what you can achieve in a day and how you feel daily. In no time, you’ll find that you’re making it instead of faking it!
Your morning shapes your entire day. If you do not have a morning ritual you simply must create one – this is the first step I take with all my private clients so that they reach their most successful versions of themselves with ease and grace. Click Here and you can immediately access a case study on Morning Rituals. There are 8 high achievers that are outlined out of 100 and you’ll notice that they all do one similar action that if you incorporate this one thing into your daily morning ritual, you have an immediate transformation in each day you live. Check it out now, then take the opportunity to create your own morning ritual with ease and grace!
If you are capable of taking 2 of the 8 and incorporating them into your daily ritual, you’ll notice a significant change in your emotional, mental and spiritual well being, plus you’re going to find that life seems easier as you accomplish more.
Watch for more in depth how to’s on each of them in my weekly newsletter and together we’ll live a life on fire!
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